We Ranked All of Zac Efron's Movies. You're Welcome.

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Originally appeared on E! Online

The time has come to celebrate the patron saint of abs: Zac Efron.

One of our favorite millennial heartthrobs turns 37 on Oct. 18, which means two things. 1. Yes, time just slapped us all in the face. 2. A rewatch of a favorite movie starring Efron is in order.

But which one to choose? Of course, you can pick from his repertoire of musical moments, like Hairspray or The Greatest Showman.

Or perhaps you’d rather go with High School Musical 3 or 17 Again, both of which highlight his physical prowess. Then again, his comedic chops are on full display in Neighbors and Dirty Grandpa. Range, thy name is Zachary David Alexander Efron!

Trying to decide which Efron movie is the best sparked a conversation that incited a friendly yet fierce debate in the E! News offices. The takes were hotter than the man himself without his shirt on, which, you know, we’ve featured just maybe once or twice on our Instagram account. (You’re welcome, by the way.)

And so, we decided to do what any sane person with a 401K would do: We ranked all of his feature film outings.

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For the record, the man himself ranks his most recent effort—the June rom-com A Family Affair—as one of his fave film-making experience.

“I got to play, like, the worst version of somebody experiencing fame and sort of the fear and the imposter syndrome that comes with that,” he told Vanity Fair of portraying a movie star who hooks up with the mom (Nicole Kidman) of his personal assistant (Joey King).

“One the one hand, I’m still, like, starstruck every time I see her,” he added of his physical scenes with Kidman. “Even to this day. I really just am in a sense just always going to be in permanent awe of her. I don’t know, I’ve got a deep trust and, like, respect for her that I think just makes it fun.”

Similarly, we were up to the task of sifting through Efron’s film oeuvre to pull out some of the highlights. Yes, it was a tough job, but someone had to do it. Here’s our official ranking of every Efron movie, from worst to best.

WORST: We Are Your Friends

Sorry for reminding you that this 2015 movie about Efron as a DJ exists!

The Paperboy

Dirty Grandpa

New Year’s Eve

Firestarter

While this may be a remake of the 1984 horror movie, getting to see Efron play a dad for the first time was a dream come true for many geriatric millennials who doodled “Mrs. Efron” on their notebooks in school. Unfortunately, seeing that fantasy come to fruition did not a good film make.

Baywatch

Listen, this should’ve been our dream bae-watch, given how he basically spends the whole movie shirtless and it’s literally for the storyline of it all. But while we expected this 2017 summer flick to be a romp, it was more of a womp womp. Still, we’ll always have those abs.

Me and Orson Welles

A sure-fire way to try and get young people to spend their babysitting money on a festival movie about the director of Citizen Kane? Cast Efron in the lead role. Alas, the 2008 period drama only made $2.3 million, but did earn the young actor some indie cred in his post-Disney days.

Gold

Critics commended Efron’s committed performance in this dystopian action thriller, but sadly, it failed to strike its namesake with audiences. Also, spoiler alert: Our man gets eaten by a pack of wild dogs. Rough.

The Greatest Beer Run Ever

In a pretty-much-true 2022 story that sounds unbelievable, a ’60s-era Efron dons a sweet ‘stache and plays a Merchant Mariner that treks around the world to deliver American beers to his buddies fighting in Vietnam. Sure, it’s a somewhat ludicrous premise, but Efron still charms.

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

While we initially RSVP’d “no” to this forgettable 2016 comedy, we are kind of OK crashin’ it from time to time.

That Awkward Moment

Ricky Stanicky

A Family Affair

Charlie St. Cloud

We’ve done a lot of things in the name of our love for this man but seeing this kinda weird 2010 drama ranks pretty high on the list!

The Lucky One

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile

Neighbors and Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

Hairspray

In his first major movie following his breakout success with High School Musical, Efron took on another singing role in the 2007 remake of Hairspray, playing teen heartthrob Link Larkin. Casting was perfect and we’ll never forget his Link wink.

The Greatest Showman

17 Again

The Iron Claw

BEST: High School Musical 3

(Originally published on Wednesday, April 14, 2021 at 3:00 a.m. PT)